I hav been sow bad bcos I havernt dun mye blog but eye hav been sow bizzy running, sleeping, eeting and looking arftur mum that i havernt had enny tyme. I need a secrerterry (must bring snaks).
Wel I hav dun sow mutch runing its unberleeverball. Mum has bin mowtin byking all farst an awwsow warking ten myles at a tyme, witch meens I do abowt severnteen myles becos I hav to mayk deevyayshuns to chek bajja howwls in case mum fawld down wun aggen an mangerld her uther ankl. (silly bint) (luv yeww muuuummm xxx) *love you too Scowty, very much*
Wot can I say abowt the wether ixxept OMG it has been horrerbul. Ive had to stay in bed antil abowt ten ay em evry day bcos wen I look owt of the kertuns in my luxjurry bedroom God is always dooing his woshing, I wish he’d stop waring sow menny robes sow he can save sum warter. Dussent he no abowt howspipe bans? Mum says she wishis he wood do her woshing azwell but she duzznt trust him with the wites bcos men carnt doo woshing.
Ennyway, wot els hav I bin up to..hmmm wel baisickly pikking up litter, wating arownd wile mum ooohs and arrrs abowt sum stewpid burds cawld lapwinz, she stans thare for age-is stairing at them and gowing “Cooo OH EMMM GEEEEEE Oh COOOOOOO!” so I hav to gow off and amews myself then wen I come bak she tels me off for bee ing cuvvered in cow pats. Pfffft. I getted hur bak by throwing a brarnch in frunt of hur byke weel, she did grate big swaring arftur that so I rund off reely farst.
Anuther day me n mum were on a wark wen we saw a laydee an Mum went “Ohw no keep warking its Craizee Carull” Craizee Carul was givin mum a rite eeerful but shee didunt reelize that mum wos lissning to Fin Lizzee on hur hedfowns but arftur a wile mum dissidid to take them off so shee cud get the jist of wot Craizee wos saying. Shee woz gowing ” I bin chekking yor tax dissk for three weeks an now you has gon owt of the graice peeeriud an you no if you has an akkssidunt yoo wont bee inshored an I bin chekkin it for three weeks and evry day yoo hasunt got yor tax an I chekked it tooday an yoo still hasunt gottit it an yoouu no its illeeegal an you shoodunt bee parkd an I startid CHEKKIN IT THREE WEEKS AGO AND…” in the end mum jus stuffd hur eeerfowns bak in and showwtid “SHUTTUP CRAIZEEEE CARUL AN GETTA LYFE YOOO STEWPIDD BANARNA HED” but its awwrite becos Cray had awwreddy warked away wen Mum showwtid it so shee didunt heer an shee didunt see mum doooing funny han signuls at hur eyether…..Arftur that mum maid up a song about hur but shee wownt let me rite it dowwn………..I lyked it though becos it was a rapping song. Anyway…
Wot els….? Oh yess we wentoo the beech larst Sunday an it wos a mayzing. It wos reely hot an on the way there I barkd at awl the lorrees and carrervans that went parst an it wos a lot so it wos a bit of a stressful jurnee witch is why mum gaved me a likerish toffee to eat but the ownlee trubble wos I dropd it an it got stuck in my tale an then I was geting a bit stressd bcos I wontid to eet it an it woodent come out and mum had to try an untangul it but I kep werling rownd an rownd kwite farst an it awl gotta bit frenzzid. Lucklee we got stuck in a traffick jam sow mum cud sorrtit. Why do thay cawl it a traffick jam bcos thare wosnt eeven any jam an I wos starrving by that tyme. Whenwee gott too the seeside mum took us to a caffay an bort me a sossidge rowl sow I ated that then I finnishd mums soop azwell, oh an hur bred, an I had a bit of Rorees lunch azwell. Mum sez I got wurms. Then wee cuddunt find a plaice to park at the beachy area sow mum got owt an had a wurd with the parking men in hi vizz an thay sneeked us in a car park an Rorees frend sed it wos ownlee becos mum had hur dennim minnee skurt on an chattid them up. Howw roood… It wos sow fun on the beech bcos thare wos lowds of digging I had to help with an we saw a deer SWIMMING! Can u beleev it???!! An mum had speshul enurjee bars in hur bag an I wos allowd wun bcos I had rund and dun digging sow much that she sed I must hav burnt ny sossijj rowl off by now (duz that sound bit rood? OMG). I went swimming with Rorree and Jow, his frend. Jow forgot his clowthes for arftur swimming an he had too ware a towl dress awl the way howm that mum had in hur bag.
On the way howm wee got fish an chips an Jow sed mum wos chatting up the chip shop men bcos thay carreed our dinner owt too the car for us an there wer three of them but mum ses thay wer jus beeing jentulmen. Whoo cairs ennyway bcos the chips wer a mayzing. Then I feld farssasleeps.
Ever sinnss then its bin rayning but weev stil had to doo our evryday in May an its bin harf turm sow I been with my bruther Rorree a lot but hee tels ne off mor than mum duz so I carnt wate for skoowl to start bak.
Toonite mum screamed “AAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHHH WEEEV DUN IT! AAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”Then shee startid doowing teardrops an I got awl beeside myself bcos I downt lyke hur beeing upsetted but shee sed shee was cry ing bcos shee wos happy (wimmin) bcos, wate for it……………..
…………….. WE MAID TWENNTEE THOWSUND POWNNNDS ON EVRYDAY IN MAY!!!!!!!
Wen Mum towld mee I wos sow excitered bcos I wos thinking OHH EMM JEEE how menny pork pyes can wee get for twenntee thowwsund powwwnds?!!! Then I rimmemberd that wee hav too giv it to the Royawl Marsdun sow thay can help peepul lyke my nanna, thenn I felt lyke crying as well bcos I wos sow happee an I new nanna wood be azwell. I thawt shee myte throw me a toffee bombom down from her hanbag in hevvun.
Sow its the larst day of Evry Day and I’m gowing to miss yoo awl bcos I lyke reeding abowt your legs hurting evry day and seeing yor funnee pikchurs n heering abowt if yor humgry an I feel kwyte attatched to you you no. *sad whiskers*
Wil yoo stil think abowt me?
I love yoo very much an I miss yoo awlreddy.
Pee ess I love yoo