TWENNTYDAYS

Kccchhh kchhhhh come in please…kchhhhhhh HELLOW??!

Oh thare yew are! How comes you still havs yor dressing gownd on plees? Ohhh I know, it’s becos you is habslootly krakkerd becos of evry day in May? Me two. How akkcherlly tirink is this?!

At the mowmunt we havs a gesst staying. He is cawled Montee and billongs to my Arnty Helun. Arnty Helun and hur boyfrend Nickle-arse havs gon to Me-norca, or “MINNAWWKARR” as mum sez it becos she’s from Essix ware my luvly rillayshuns live. ANNYWAY, Monty the cocka spanghole mooved in on Thursdee and it’s been kwite a shock becos he gets up at sevun ay emm (yes you hurd that ryte!) and runs arownd chitterink for his brekkfusst. Me and Lottery downt get up til illevvun as a rool and sow we is extra tyred wot withs awslo running tenkay evry singul day. Tharefore we haffs been kwyte moody. We’s awlso moody becois mum keeps huggling Montree and sayin’

“Oh yew is SO GAWJUSS yew licky wicky woo!!”

and kissing his schnozz and rubbbingk his belly. Grrrrrrr.

Ennyway, this arfturnoon me and Montree (or Montree. and. I) went to play in the garden on our own and I reelised he loves to play tennis ball. We skittered abowt owt thare barkering and running off with the ball and Mum wos showting out the window

“HAY YOUS TWO FOR GOODNISS SAKES KEEP THE NOISE DOWN! DOWNT YEW THINK I HAVS INNUFF TO PUT UP WITH WHAT WITH DEL AND RODNEY COCKERDOODLERING AWL DAY GETTING ASBOS OFF THE NAYBORS FROM STEEVUNNIDGE LETALOWN YEWS TWO BARKERING AND WEEING UP MY WOSHINGK LINE! NOW BEEHAIVV OR I WIL COME OWT THARE AND SMACK YOR BUMS!!!!”

Eek. Mum is scairy wen she gets cross so we hided arownd the side shaikingk until we hurd her put the towster on for luntch…….. And now we is bessfrrends sow Lottery has a monk on becos she is jeluss becos she wonnts me awl to hurself. Wimmin.

Sow then. Toodday is day twennty of Every day in May and awl of you peepls taking part are doing a mayzing things, walking, runningk, cyclering awl in the rane and between cooking yor teas (if you wood like to rite to me to tell me wot you are havingk for tee plees do sow *droool awl over yor cleen trowsers*) How do yew even do it? Yew will be fit as bootchers dogses!

Even though it is reelly hard doing this every day for thurty wun days it’s not as hard as being affectered by all the  things we are raisin munny for, ink looding hopsisses, stewpid cansser, babies (I love babies, I could eat two at wunce), moto newrone dizzeez, menthole helff (clowss to my own harrt bcos mum says I am from the howm for collies with menthole helff ishoos), and deemensha. Sow far we are up to ATE AND A HARF THOWSUN POWNS!!!

So it doesn’t matter if awl our legs hurt bcos we are doingk this with owr harts <3

Please have some lovely dinners, I rekkermend bazgetti golernaise with plenty parmidgiano reggiano, awslo if you try and catch any food that falls off the wurktop it is a handy suppliment.

I am thinking of yew awl the time yew know. We will get threw this togethers.

All my love, and that is a lot.

Scowt XXX