Yes helo can yew heer me? Waik up plees, its me, Scowt sheepdog and I hav things to say to yew.
Furst of all, I love yoo. It’s importunt to tel peepl yew love them; that’s if you do love them and thay are not plopheads like the peepl who awlways say no to my shnozz kissis and brush like WUN SINGL HARE off thare trowsers wen I try to say helo. Mowstly I luv evrywun and like to greet them by putting my paws arownd thare waste and shnuffling them big time. On the other hand if I take a dislike to sumwun for no apparunt reezon I put my eers back (witch are very imbarrissing eers becos evrywun larfs at them) and try to nip thare nose, or hed, off.
ANYWAY, I dygress. Lissen plees, it is now the furst day of Evry Day in May and lots of yew are taking part and running , warking, sykling, swimming (I went swimming in a ditch on our run today – nods), even skait bording, ikksettra! Wot thay are not doing is laying a rownd on the settee saying “Oh my legs hurt” “ Oh I need a packit of crissps” “Oh wot tyme is Eestenders on?” “Oh I am like SEWWWWW TIRED”. No then, Evry Day in May peeple are speshl, thay do all this activity every day for a hole 31 days even when they wood priffer a packit of crisps or a little sleep. And do yew no why? Becos thay care abowt the peepl who have cancer, and so do I. A cupple of yeers ago I lost wun of my luvly frends, my Grandad Williams. Me and mum used to go and see Grandad A. LOT. He awlways has speshl treeps in his pantry for me and I wood sit and crunch them wile him and mum tawlked awl abowt the gossip in the villij, or abowt how to grow runna beens, or abowt who used to live at number 35 in 1937, or abowt my Grandma Williams who was the love of his life, who he lost to cancer a few years ago. Grandad didnt mind getting my hares on his trowsers, he didnt eevun mind when I was a pup and did a wee up the leg of his best anteek dining table. Becos Grandad was speshl. Grandad died from cancer. I miss him, and not just becos of the snaks.
So me and mum ran our tenkay this afternoon. We rund up to me’s sista Butty’s resting plaice in the woods, Mummy has a chitter to her and tells her all abowt the chikkins being nawty since she went to Rainbow Bridge, and abowt how we miss hur little paws and hur funny dance when mummy got home from ennyware, and hur biskitty scented paws. The other hilites of owr run were that I had three ditch barths, I fownd a rarther larjj stick and kepton thwacking Mum rownd the legs with it, I fownd a nunsuspecting hare who was having an arfternoon sleep and I chaised him but I let him win in the end………. Mum sang some songs she wos lissening to on her telly phone, wun wos by Zed leppelin and she kept showting “BINNA LONG TYME BINNA LONG TYME BINNA LONG LOWNLEE LOWNLEE LOWNLEE LOWNLEEEE TYYYYME” I think she was saying it to Butty. It was IMBARRISSSING!
Something I wood like yew to rimmember is that lots of peepl rite at this very mowment have cancer, so it doesn’t matter if yew sing Zed leppelin or even run a long withowt yor clothes on (OH EM GEE) as long as yew care abowt them and try to help them with us. I want to help peepl and animals while I am heer in the wurld.
Remember what Rubyard Kipling said:
“If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
with sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more, you’ll be a man my son!”
He awlso made exseedingly good cakes.
All my love, and that is a. lot.