Yes then. Halo, yes it’s me, Scowt.
I bet yew thawt I had collapsd didunt yew! Wel it was wurse than that, mutch wurse.
I hav only just got over the fakt that Mum went a way and left me larst weekend. It wos the wurst weekend of my HOLE LYFE. I new sumthing wasn’t right becos Mum wos rushing a bowt doing awl hur howsewurk that she normully dus on a Sun day. Polishink the windosilfs, bleechink the toilicks and she evun bought sum REDDY MEELS! She sed
“Scowty, this is a terrubble sitchooayshun! I no thay wil ownlee eet Dommy Nose peetza if I dont put stuff in the frijj for them so I had to by thees horrubble currees in a box instedd!”
Muvva dzzent like curree or food in boxxis, and nor do I becos I taik after hur, we like reel howm maid mashd potayto or jakkits or bazgetti golernaise. Ennyway, aftur doing hur Sindarella stuffs she got owt a RUGSAK! She startid putting cloves in it – leggings and sykling shawts, inna tubes and a bysikkl pump. AND THEN SHE PUT HUR TOOFBRUSH IN! That’s wen I new this wos seriuss! Next of awl she put hur byke in owr car and sed “I LOVE YEW SCOWT. I MISS YEW AWLREDDY. HOW AM I GOINK TO KOPE WITHOWT YEW FOR THREE DAYS??!” Well I felt faint, I thawt my wurld had come to an end. My mummy wos goink away withowt me – we had hardly evva been separaytid since burth. My hart sank, and my eers floppd as I put my front paws up on the windowsilf in mum’s offiss and wotched hur drive away.
Wen mummy was away I kepton chekking faissbook and thare were pikchurs of hur and my arnty Kristeen on bysikkls in a plaice that I wood hav luvvd to gow to. Wot thay wer doing wos sykkling the Sowth Downs Way, it’s a hundrud miles off road on big hills and mum wos doing it as part of Evry Day in May. She wos saying it wos “SOW HARD!” Well it wossunt as hard as missing my mummy I no that mutch. I stil did my tenkays with my bruther Roree thow, becos I hav my sponsurs to think a bowt, and the peepl with cancer. Evun thow I missed muvva I stil did it. I no all of the peepl tayking part ar maiking sack ree fyces and we awl hav to suffa a little bit sow we can get lots of pownd notes to help the peepl at Gy’s and Sunthomas Hopsital. That rimminds me, My Unkl Thomarto sed he wood like to look aftur me wen Mummy gows away, and he likes towst and crisps, and sow do I. He livs in Norn Irelund sow next time that is ware I am flying to from Stanstid hairport.
At last thow Muvva caim howm, she smelt funny and taistid salty and she had been strowking sum other dogs and wos saying “Ohh SCOWTEE, I met the mowst A DORRABUL DOGGIES! Blah blah, silkee fur, blah blah, belly rubs, blah blah, nose kissis!” HURRUMPH, I wos not happee. Anyway thow, the besfing was I fownd an old bit of cheez samwijj in mum’s rugsack and sum flapjak crums so I forgiv’d her everything.
Since then we hav been running owr tenkays every day, and larst night I fownd a mahhooseev flock of geeses to chaiss off the farmer’s feeld. O EM GEE they were lyke jumblo jets! And Mum sez I am “fit as a butcha’s dog”. I think she been seeing other dogz again. HURRUMPH. It’s nice to be running with mummy a gain and heering hur sing a long to hur iPodge. Larst night she was going “Thay paivd parru dice put up a parkkkinnng lot. With a pinkotel, a booteek and a swinnnginnggg hotspock! Don it awlway seem to gow, that yew downt no wot yoov got til its gonnn……” Well yes this is troo, and now my mummy has been a way and I havs got hur bak I am never letting hur go ever a gain.
Note from mum:
“I love you Scout, you’re my rock. You are the best dog in the world and I missed you like crazy so my heart ached, and thought about you the whole time! I hope I never have to leave you ever again. Love from Mum xxx”
I need to gow and get sumthing owt of my eye now.
Thank yew for reeding. Thankyew if your are taiking part. Thank yew if yew hav sponssurd any of us.
I love yew
Pee ess I like your japamas. Thares reely no need to get dressd at the weekens is thare XXX