Wot even time is it? 08:35am and I downt ewsjully get up till harfeleven but mum said I have to rite my blog to “Help evvrywun feel motorvented becos thare legs will be hurtink!”
The first thing I haffs to tell you is that it is bin day today. This is my wurst day of the week (see piktchurs of my anxeyety faiss) becos I hafs a fobia about the bin trukks, so I am hidingk under the eyekeea pixbo powang chare to rite this, it’s the same chare I choowed to bits when I wos a kewt puppy sow I am kwite attactched to it) Mum awlways knows when its bin day becos I start shivvering and shaiking and my eeers go back and I wont go owtside for ay wee in the morning even if I’m bustin.
Ennyway heer we are on day ait awlreddy! Coo, what ARE we?? AWWSUMM! I howp all your legs are feeling okay, if not then my advyce is to haffs spagetti bollernaise for all three meals evry day then sleep on yor back on the sowfa or your mums bed for twennty hours inbetween.
Here is ware I want to say thank you to evvrywun who is raisin loads of pownds for peeple who are suffrink in sum way. I think you are all very speshl lovely peepl with grate big harts and legs. I’m getting doughnations in memmry of my nanna, as awlways, who I never got to meet becos of stewpid cancer, which is terrible becos mum said nanna made grate big rowst dinners and had a lot of cheese in her fridge. I haffs seen some of you are raisin munny for baybees, I love baybees but mummy wownt let me neer them….. THAY ARE KEWT!
Evvry day we run mum taiks wun of my arnty cristeen’s scarves with us and ties it up on a tree brarntch. Arnty Cristeen went to hevvun in Fevrooary because of a horrible thing called moto newrone dizeez witch I telled you abowt in my larst blodge, rimmemba? Ennyway, the brantches are very high and mum has to do a few big jumps before she can reetch wun and I awlways think she’s having a game of jump so I awlways jump up at the same time and try and bite her bum and she showts
“SCOWTY YOU IS NOT HELLPINGK THE SITCHOOAYSHUN!!! THE LARST THINGK I NEED IS YEW TRYING TO RIP AY PEECE OWT OF MY ARSS WEN I AM HAFFINKS A STRESSFUL MOWMENT!!! NOW PISSOFFFFSSSS!!!!”
Arftur that she taiks a pikchur and sends it to my uncl Greg, arnty cristeens hubsand and mums grate big tall bruvther, bcos he is missink hur sow mutch and it probly makes his hart feel a bit better eetch day. Then she tags my cuzzen Hidey in it on Faissbook and by the time she haffs dun all that me and Lottery are getting REELLYYY bored sow we chaiss rabbits insted and then Mum haffs another rant at us. She needs to taik a chill pill.
Am I goingk on a bit?
Just to say that I am thinking bowt all of you evry day and I know how not eezy this is and how mutch time it taiks up and how mutch woshing it maiks, and that I ams so prowd of all and evvry wun of yew for taiking part. And awlso to all the kind and cairing peepl who’s sponsurring evvrywun, we have rased neerly FYVE THOWSUN POWNDS awlreddy! Heer is a showtowt to our yungest person taiikingk part and that is my very lovely, cairing and fit naybor A-meel-ia (she haffss long blond hare like Goldimalocks) A-meel-ia does her eedim evry day evun thow she has to go to skoowl as well! What a gurl. I luffs hur xxx
Until nextime, awl the loves of my hart, and awl my kissis.
pee ess sorry I just had choona for brekfusst.
Love from Scowt XXX
Pee ess ess thank you to my Unkl Thomarto for dooingk this ontoo Wurdprest for me and for raisin munny for a speshl hopsiss and grate big catheedrul. Mmm Cathedral City……..X
Pee ess ess ess I love you